Success, Failure or Sabotage

I can understand as much as anyone else can, better than some, perhaps, about the fear of being a failure.  Here is how I deal with it:

I ask myself am I happy with who I am and where I am in life right now, at this moment?

If I compare myself to others, the answer is always no.  That's because I can always find someone else doing better than I am.  If I pretend for just a moment that I'm the only person in the world right now... and that there is no one else to compare with, guess what??  Most of the time, I find myself content with where I am.  If in these conditions, I find myself as in an unacceptable position, then I can ask what needs to be done to change that and then I say the Serenity Prayer and really think (meditate) on what I can do to change or to accept.  If I can't change it, I will give it to my Higher Power and leave it at that.  If I can change my position, then I ask for strength to carry it out, if it is within the will of God, as I understand God to be.  Otherwise, I simply trust that my HP knows more than I do and if it is acceptable to Him, then there should be good reason for me to say, "I'm right where I need to be at this moment in time."

Of course, this is a lot easier said than done, so I struggle.

It is so easy for me to compare myself with others because I don't trust myself, nor do I trust that I'm where I need to be, just because I'm there at that moment.  I always look at other people, because I've got it in my mind that they have it all together. I, on the other hand, am a complete mess.  (I know that what I just said is not true, but it feels that way, you know?)

Progress rather than perfection is a good slogan to recall at times like these.  If I can see that I am a special gift from God to the rest of the world, but that I am still in the stage of "making" instead of a completed project... then I'm okay, for now.

Being a musician is a challenge to make a living off of.  So is working for Walmart.  There is no pay... none whatsoever!  If I am happy where I am, then that is what truly counts.  Who says you need money in order to succeed?  There are other factors as well, such as health, happiness.....   Serenity really counts as a criterion for success.  How many people do I know that had a lot of money and ended up killing themselves?  Not that many, if I'm really honest with myself, but at the same time, I know more rich suicides than I've known poor.  This is a fact that I can say directly from my experience and observation. I'm not saying that money causes people to be unhappy.  I think the real culprit is the lack of Serenity.  Serenity is a wonderful companion to have!  I have to keep reminding myself that money doesn't necessarily mean Serenity....  but sometimes, money can help in my attainment of Serenity (it's hard to have a peace when
you are hungry.)

Concerning sabotage, if someone else is unhappy, does that make me more happy?  I find that there is no relationship regarding someone else's happiness to mine.  It took a lot of experience to find this neat little fact out!  Fact is, if there was a relationship between the two, it always had a negative impact on my own quest for happiness, if for the reason that I would later look at myself and say, "Wow, Jack!  You really are a bad guy!  FOR SHAME!!!"  Thoughts like these always manages to sabotage my own feelings of self worth and esteem.  So, if I sabotage another, it will come back to bite me in the caboose!  That's a fact.  I really do feel for the person who has the need to sabotage, because I see myself in that picture.  I'm not judging.  I'm just saying, please, keep coming back and don't be discouraged from working the program.  Miracles happen.  Guess what?  You are that miracle... a work in progress!  One day, I can actually
say that there won't ever be a need for me to sabotage another.  By the Grace of God and the power to Think! I too, will come to the realisation that God sees me as a miracle as well.  When we get to that point, then I'd say we are truly Successful!  

 

 

Gras agus sith oirbh

(Grace and peace on you),
Alasdair Seoc Dughlas

Christianity as a Living Tradition

"The days are surely coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant that I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt--a covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, says the LORD. But thie is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" (Jeremiah 31.31ff, NRSV).

"What do you mean by repeating this proverb concerning the land of Israel, "'The parents have eaten sour grapes and the children's teeth are set on edge'? As I live, says the Lord GOD, this proverb shall no more be used by you in Israel" (Ezekiel 18.2f, NRSV).

It is interesting to note that even though God's law, his covenant with the people would "stand forever," and yet change is very fascinating to me. If I'm not careful, I'd say this is a contradiction all unto itself. I realize, though, that nothing can be farther from the truth. In fact, it is imperative that God does change the promises, if and only if, the people are "ready" (whatever that could mean!) and could use something even better. Christians see this as being fulfilled in Christ.

Traditions do not have to be stale and unchanging to remain true to their foundations. Notice language, for instance. A "living" language will change over the course of time, as the language is being used. English speakers do not speak the same English as written in the King James Bible, though at one time, they did. Traditions can be the same way. We will see how later on in this post. Christianity is a living tradition, therefore is allowed to change within time, not expected to remain the same and die out because it doesn't answer to the needs of humans living in the here and now. The proof is in the pudding, so here I will serve.

Note the change in the use of a proverb: "The parents have eaten sour grapes and the children's teeth are set on edge." Now before, this proverb did adequately describe the consequences of disobedience... when God would punish those people down to the third and fourth generation. That was part of the Law covenant with Moses. (Give me a couple of days, I will find that passage and post it up.) Now they are to no longer use that. Why? It seems apparant that such a proverb will no longer accurately describe the wrath of God. We are instead told, in the same chapter, that the one who breaks the law will be the only one who will pay. This is true in dealing with God in the New Testament; for example Romans chapters 1-6.

Note too, Acts 15, where the newly formed Christian Church decided that the Gentile followers need not to convert over to Judaism, need NOT to have circumcision. Part of that reasoning was that the Apostle Peter witnessed the Spirit of God dwelling with uncircumsised Romans, who had the gifts of the Spirit, and showed adequate grace. If the Holy Spirit comes and visits such people, then circumcision must no longer be a requirement. This was a historical move for the church; because instead of choosing exclusion, "It's us against them," they chose inclusion, "We might be different, but we stand together." Even though Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and even Moses and all the prophets had to be circumcised, worshippers of God today no longer have to be. (As I type this, I hear a lot of men shout "AMEN! Hallelujah!)

The Christain Church of today may want to revisit this and reconsider their stand on allowing women to join the ministry. Perhaps even consider what the Church has traditionally seen as outcasts, and attempt reconciliation with these people, like those who have a different sexual orientation than those of the majority. After all, does not the Spirit of God visit these people as well? The Christain Church has broken off from traditional Judaism as evident in Acts 15. The Christian Church, led by the Holy Spirit, may want to take further action. I would encourage all Christains to at least, consider it; using the formulae: Does God's Spirit visit so and so?

The Bible I quote here is the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV).

Gras agus sith oirbh

(Grace and peace on you),
Alasdair Seoc Dughlas

Let It Begin With Me

HOPE FOR TODAY
Today is Saturday, May 22, 2010

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Anticipating enjoyment is a good way to begin my day. If I lose my place. I'll remember I can start my day over at any time.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
"I haven't succeeded in changing my past, of course, but the present is filled with promise, and, amazingly, I am discovering that it is fun to be me" ("From Survival to Recovery," p. 185; Virginia Beach, VA).

SEOC's SHARE FOR TODAY:
I have often wondered why I most often than not choose to be safe rather than try something new. It is hard for me to learn something, because I always seem to have this feeling that I should know everything and to do anything efficiently. I find that I have little patience for myself. Why is all this?

Again, it stems from my childhood. There were plenty of times that I had not done as well as others had expected of me and so I withdrew, not wanting to do anything, out of fear of disapproval. I discovered that FEAR was the real culprit. Now, I must ask myself, "Does this fear profit me anything?" Sometimes, yes. Most of the time, no. There is a whole world out there that I'm missing out on and at the same time, the whole world out there is missing me.

So what do I do? I climb out of my shell, the one I created and explore all my possibilities. Easier said than done, right? You bet! It takes a lot of courage for me to try new things, to encourage myself to become a little creative and experiment. Wouldn't you know? Sometimes, the world sees me as someone very special. But then again, if the world fails to see my gifts and appreciate them, at least I can see, acknowledge and celebrate the gift of my inner child.

That's all I got today. I'm Seoc, a gratefully recovering Adult Child. I'm glad we're here.

Hope for Today is a daily meditation book published by Al-Anon Family Groups and focuses on isuues faced by Adult Children of Alcoholics.

The Stuff I Call Serenity

"Hope for Today"
Today is Thursday, May 20, 2010.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Serenity is not about the end of pain. It is about my ability to flourish peacefully no matter what life brings my way.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY:
"I felt utterly at peace with life and at the same time filled with joy. At that moment, I realized this was serenity, and I laughed out loud for the sheer; glorious pleasure of it" ("From Survival to Recovery," p.268; Virginia Beach, VA).

SEOC's SHARE FOR TODAY:

Once, one of my favorite all-time comic strip characters, Hagar the Horrible, was offered three choices.

1) Become all-powerful and rule the world.
2) Get all the money and become the richest man in the world.
3) He could have "true happiness."

My hero choose option 1. His reasoning was that if he could rule the world, he'd take all the money and be truly happy. Of course, I smile when I see logic go in that direction, but deep down, I know that happiness doesn't work like that. Isn't it true that the richer one becomes, the more stress one has?

Education, financial success, respectability, good health, loving families... sure they all can contribute, set the stage for one to be happy. They are not, however, the source. The source of true happiness, the stuff I call Serenity, that peace of mind, comes from within. Take away all those good conditions, and one can still have Serenity. This is something so real that not even conflicts, commotions and chaos can make it fall. They can make an impact on our peacefulness, but only if we allow it to. The choice is ours and ours to make. This is what true happiness is and so I smile every time I think of Hagar's choice.

When I have Serenity, it doesn't matter what happens in the day to day, dog eat world. I still have the strength to carry on and keep what's left of my sanity. I trust that something good will come out of anything, even though I may not see how it will come to be. I trust that someone is looking out for me and has my back. Whether for good or ill, it doesn't matter. Things will always work out in the end. Now that's Serenity!

Gras agus sith dhut, (Grace and peace to you)
Seoc Dughlas

"Hope for Today" is a daily meditation book published by Al-Anon Family Groups and is focused on issues faced by Adult Children of Alcoholics.